Children, by their very nature are vulnerable. No-one expects a child to be able to understand the potential hazards of life or to avoid the pitfalls of the broken world we live in. That is why they need caring adults to help them grow up safely. We need healthy ‘mothers and fathers’ in the church to grow ‘baby Christians’ in the same way. No-one expects babies to stay vulnerable and dependent forever. However, our model of church has in some ways encouraged us to stay in that very dependent phase of childhood. Paul, in his oversight of different churches, explains this “fathering” role in Colossians 1:28-29:
Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.
Parenting is not a small commitment and there is, I believe, a lack of it in our churches. It is what effective discipleship looks like. It costs time and effort, prayer ~ all kinds of investment in growing people. Labelling it mentoring and putting the process behind a paywall has become a thing but for Paul, it was a labour of love. Growing up into maturity, as he points out in Ephesians 4:14, helps us stay safe:
… so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.
The apostles, prophets, teachers, shepherds, and evangelists mentioned in this chapter are some of the gifts that God gave to grow us up. Their job is not to do the work for us but to equip us. We are to be equipped for the work of ministry, not carried as dependent children forever. The writer to the Hebrews continues this idea. They are challenged in Hebrews 5:11-14:
About this we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.
One of the things that I am passionate about is people learning to hear the voice of God for themselves. Jesus went to the cross and removed the veil between us and God, and then the Father gave us the gift of the Holy Spirit. In some ways we, as the wider church, have prolonged a system that Jesus died to abolish. We have disempowered people in their direct connection to God. We have made the members of our congregations dependent, sometimes on one man, for all things. How many of us are confident in our relationship with God, knowing that we hear his voice for ourselves, trusting our ability to hear the Holy Spirit within?
The gift of discernment is so very vital for these times. How do we discern what is true or false, what is right or wrong? By listening to the voice of God, by learning to recognise his voice. John 10:3-5 shows us that this is the way to not follow wrong shepherds.
… The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.
The good news is that Jesus’ work on the cross means that we can all know God, not just know about him. The passage in Hebrews 5 talks about training, about practice. It is a process of learning. Learning involves making mistakes. We must lose our fear of error, of getting it wrong. We must stop demanding perfection from ourselves and our brothers and sisters in Christ. Yes, of course, we must have procedures and strategies in place to help us deal with error, but the bible tells us to test, to discern what we are hearing and decide, with the help of Holy Spirit, what we are hearing.
In this regard, maybe some of us have idolised accuracy in the world of the prophetic. We have listened to a word from someone and been impressed by words of knowledge, by insight, without testing the spirit behind it. The story of Paul with the slave girl in Acts 16 should underline the fact that accuracy is not the test. The girl was accurately proclaiming who they were, repeatedly, but the spirit that she was using to access the revelation was not the Holy Spirit and so Paul evicted it!
We need to become familiar with not just the voice of God but also his character. The easiest way to become familiar with how God speaks, who he is, and what he is like, is through the word of God. The word of God is also something of a plumb line to help us know if we have gone off-piste. God is unlikely to tell you to divorce your husband or wife to facilitate an adulterous relationship. He is equally unlikely to tell you to take something that does not belong to you, or to cheat in a business deal, or to murder or lie. He will not speak to you about following a path that contradicts his own word. Using the word of God as a plumb line to help us learn to discern is Christianity 101.
Proverbs 18:21 gives us another insight into discerning whether what we are hearing is from the One who gives life or not.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue
It is important to consider the fruit of what is being sown in our lives because of what we are listening to, that includes things that are not spiritual too. If we watch endless doom-laden prophecies about the end of the world, about how things are going to be horrific, it can produce fear in us. I am not saying do not be informed about things, but it is good to be aware of what we are watching, who we are listening to and what it is producing in us. Jesus warns us in Matthew 7:15-18 to:
Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognise them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.
That they won’t look like wolves is important to note. Not everyone who operates in deception is actively out to deceive. In this passage we can end up looking at people through a lens that in effect demonises them as a bad person, a wolf. Although it does not excuse them, they are often victims of deception themselves, of pain and wounding that has allowed the enemy access to their heart which has defiled and corrupted their message, their teaching. There are obviously those who are knowingly out to pull us off track, actively working for the enemy, but the gift of discernment will alert us to both categories!
What is the fruit of what is being taught? What is the fruit of what is being prophesied over us? Does it line up with scripture? Does it sow things that are consistent with the character of God in our life? We know what the fruits of the Holy Spirit look like according to Galatians 5:22-23.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
We also can know that the voice of God. Although at times he may discipline, and he is not to be treated disrespectfully, not to be treated like the genie in my pocket granting my wishes, we know his character and it is good. But since the garden of Eden we have not been good at knowing good from evil. We weren’t supposed to have to work it out. Look at Jesus. He does challenge wrongdoing. He does say things like, “Go and sin no more.” However, he is never condemning, never accusatory, never controlling or manipulative. He is the kindest person I know. I have been blown away by his gentleness, his tenderness, his compassion, his constancy. Look what God says about himself in Exodus 34:6-7
And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.
Another thing to consider in discerning the fruit of what is being ministered is related to the question: does it lead you closer to Jesus, or closer to the one ministering? Some of the world of celebrity has invaded the church and we have looked to people instead of God. I understand that there are people in the body of Christ who have specific anointing, specific gifting but the plan of Jesus is, according to Galatians 5:1 (here in the Amplified version)
It was for this freedom that Christ set us free [completely liberating us]; therefore, keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery [which you once removed].
This speaks to the sense of any unhealthy loyalty as well as bondage to behaviours that are ungodly. I understand that God calls us to community, to being part of a body of believers, to not being flaky and jumping ship every time we feel challenged, or something makes us feel uncomfortable, but equally Jesus never makes us feel trapped, obligated, or unable to say no. It is important to ask Holy Spirit the questions that help us discern, is this my unhealthiness, my lack of healing, my rejection, for example, or abandonment, or shame, etc that is making me feel uncomfortable here? Holy Spirit is only too willing to show us areas of our lives where he wants to bring freedom and sometimes, we are unaware of those areas until we are in a situation that presses our buttons. However, it is possible to think, “it must be me” when in fact you are in fact discerning something. This is why it is important to have those close friendships with one or two who can help you, sitting with Holy Spirit and praying together, to discern the truth. Our first go to still needs to be to sit with God ourselves, and ask, like David in Psalm 139:23-24:
Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting!
After that, another my prayer is:
Heavenly Father, you sent the Holy Spirit as a gift to enable me. Help me to know you, really know you. Help me to recognised your voice, your ways, and reject the false. Increase my discernment, teach me how to be aware of the spirits that are in operation. Help me discern between good and evil. Lead me Holy Spirit into truth, all truth.
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