What are you worth?

In the last month or two, God has brought up the subject of value several times. Recently, I sat down to contemplate what I feel my values are and got distracted by the question, “What is your value?” In the ensuing conversation, which in reality was me listening to the answer to the question “What does God value about you?” I realised how much of my thinking has been shaped and moulded by the world in which I live. 2 Corinthians 5:16 says:

So from now on we regard no-one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer.

This includes myself. God spoke to me about traits and characteristics that he valued about me and in all honesty they were not what I would have prioritised. Most of them were nothing to do with what the world we live in values! The most significant bit of the conversation was that he said:

Your value is set by me.

My value is not even dependent on having good character although he clearly told me that he valued things about my character – particularly the hidden things, the things where I make choices of integrity, of sacrifice, that only he sees.

We can easily make success and value about what is visible. Success in our culture in the west is often based on performance or what is visible. We think that it is all about what we achieve, what we do, what we have rather than who we are. The external rather than the internal. But we are told in 1 Samuel 16:7 that:

The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

But fundamentally what gives me value is set right back before the beginning of time. My value is determined by God and specifically my value is related to my relationship with him. He created me, (and you!), to be one who bears his image. I am reminded of our coins that bear the image of the the queen (and going forward, our new king). We are imprinted by him, and with him. The coins have a value that is set when they are forged which is not dependent on what happens to them or anything else. I have value because he created me. Like a painting created by a famous artist has more value than one painted by my grand-daughter. I have value because I am the daughter of the king of kings. My identity is key.

An illustration I have used many times before is that a £5 note is still worth £5 regardless of whether it is shiny and new or whether it has been stamped on, soaked, covered in something unpleasant, crumpled or is even a bit ragged at the edges. It is the same with us, our value is not dependent on what our circumstances are, where we were born, what has happened to us or anything else. God sets our value.

What God thinks about us is what is true and we should be lining our thinking up with that. How dare we think we know better? All of this I have worked through in many ways and thought I had a pretty good handle on, until this year God where has been challenging me in the area of learning to receive and this has exposed unhealthy mindsets regarding my concept of my value. As I have been journeying with God in this transition time, people have given me gifts, sometimes of money. I have found this very hard. My Protestant work ethic, my upbringing tells me that if you don’t work, you don’t get. This has meant to my mind that if I haven’t worked, I shouldn’t get! The bible seems to support this in a discussion around idleness in 2 Thessalonians 3 where we are given a ‘rule’:

The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.

So I have struggled with the idea of receiving money and gifts. I can cope with Christmas and birthdays because it is a cultural norm but not too much, not too many and not too expensive. This feeds into where I am willing to shop for things and how much money I am willing to spend especially on things for me – clothes, and so on.

I have judged people in the past for asking for money to support them with various things, although I have also given to them whilst judging! I have been uncomfortable with the idea of people using social media to ask for money to support their ventures, even when it is “ministry-related” and especially if they are working. I have also wrestled with the idea of receiving money (“gifts” or “honoraria”) for preaching and teaching because I did not like the idea of people paying for a gift that God gave me. I know that Jesus, while sending out his apostles in Luke 10:7, said

… the worker deserves his wages.

However, he was talking about hospitality, accepting food and drink and somewhere to stay, whilst “on mission”. I am struck by the fact that these were unbelievers who were supporting the apostles being sent out. In our culture, many of us are less used to that level of hospitality where we happily invite strangers into our homes and treat them as family, so the norm for visiting preachers is to be accommodated in a hotel and given “expenses”. For those with full-time ministry it is more understandable that they are treated in this way although part of me thinks we are are all in “full-time ministry” so I don’t like the phrase much!

Anyway, I never saw myself in that way, never aspired to that and felt uncomfortable with any kind of remuneration even though I understand that those who choose to bless me in this way are acknowledging the time, and the preparation, that has gone into what I share. However, I have also seen how in some cultures, the expectations round this practice have tipped into something which looks less like honour and blessing and more like responding to a greedy and demanding culture of entitlement. God forbid that should ever be an issue in my heart.

Jesus had a lot to say about money and possessions and I think it is because it tests our heart posture, it tests who is on the throne of our heart at any point. I can think that I am immune to mammon and the lure of money and possessions but the subtleties of deception mean that I have realised my attitudes still convey an emphasis on my preferences, my desires, and the way I think it should be done. In this area of money, and of value, pride can rear its ugly head even when I think I am being humble and virtuous. Pride says I need to “pay my way”, to be independent.

As you can tell from this post, this is all still an area of ongoing revelation and ongoing purifying. God has reminded me many times in the last year or two:

I am your source.

He promises in many places, like Matthew 6:33 that if we get our priorities right, make sure he is God, he is number one, he will provide:

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

However, he retains the right to provide for me in any way he chooses. He may decide to give me work, and he has indeed given me some. He may decide to have his people, or even unbelievers, provide for me, and he has. And he may ask me to humble myself and ask for help. I am reminded of a saying from the North East of England “shy bairns get nowt” (which means ‘shy children get nothing’). God instructs us to ask him for our daily bread in the Lord’s Prayer. But what if he expects me to humble myself with my fellow believers? What if my pride needs to die some more?

And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Before you start messaging me, I know this verse in Luke 11:9, is talking about asking God but it follows a story about asking a neighbour for help! The New Testament church were very interdependent, supporting each other with a kingdom mindset that I know I have only had partial insight into, and only as long I get to be on the giving end of the equation. Not only is it “more blessed to give than to receive” (quoted in Acts 20:35) but I have found it is usually easier, which brings me back to the question of value. He is not a stingy God, he is portrayed as a God of abundance, of more than enough, of (Luke 6:38):

… Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over …

I am more comfortable with phrases like “just enough”, with “good enough”, “sufficient”! Sometimes I think he delights in making me feel uncomfortable, not because he is mean but because he wants to set me free and it shows me another area of bondage!

Anecdotally, I have found that those who find it easier to receive, from God or men, tend to have a more godly viewpoint regarding their own value, even if they don’t know God. They know their own worth. Those who are believers, know their worth in God’s eyes, they know who they are and they know whose they are. Those who still struggle in this area can find it difficult to consider themselves worthy of reward, worthy of blessing, worthy of gifts, unless they have earned it. When they are given unexpected blessing, there is a desire to reciprocate, to pay back in some way. The bottom line in this area of value and receiving, is that I am STILL being brought back to Proverbs 3:5

… do not lean on your own understanding.

There is more to unpack in this area of value and this is really my starter for ten. As we go into the new year, and a year of stretching in many ways, I pray that we will not allow our circumstances, our surroundings, or man (including ourselves) to set our value but that we find out what God values and we learn to value the same things. I pray that we learn our true value, set by God and we value ourselves this way and act accordingly, and finally that we learn to value others according to God’s standards, to his viewpoint and treat them appropriately as a result.