Abba, I belong to you.

I have played the song “Abba”, penned by the amazing Jonathan and Melissa Helser, (link here) many times over the last few years.  Recently, it has emerged again as God has me in a process of going deeper into the Father’s heart.  As I contemplated the lyrics in the last week or two, I realised that I had made the line “Abba, I belong to you” all about me.  I have a bit of a tendency to do that, do you? 

It is about me being accepted into the family, becoming his beloved child, that is true but, like the culture I live in, my thoughts were so much on what I get from the relationship, my “rights” as a child of God if you like, without contemplating my responsibilities.  I had forgotten that, yes God accepts me and makes me his child but there are implications in this process for me.  It is not just about what I “get” from the relationship.  I need to remember, I also “get” the privilege of laying down every right, as I surrender everything to follow him.  I get the joyous privilege of dying to myself daily!

For me, God is challenging me again with the question, “Do I have your heart?”  or more accurately, “Do I have your whole heart?”  This is a season of preparation for what is coming and during lockdown there has been a real sense of him stripping away extraneous clutter from our lives.  A word that has come back to me a few times in the process has been “streamlining”.  I am reminded of Hebrews 12:1-2.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

We are being taken through a refining process that clears out the dross in our lives, making us streamlined, disentangling us from the things that would slow us down, pull us off track, distract or deflect us.  We are running a marathon not a sprint and every little weight matters.  Every little “fox” (see Song of Songs 2:15) that would undermine us needs to be eradicated, rooted out.  I want to finish the race well.  In order to do that there is a real determined focus emphasised in these verses.

Back to the song.  “Abba, I belong to you” I cheerfully sang as I received love, protection, provision, and much more from the hand of my heavenly Father.  Then this morning, I felt to read some of Daniel.  As I read chapter 3, “belonging to God” took on a different slant.  Belonging to God, for Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah (you may know them better as Shadrach, Meshach. and Abednego) meant standing when others were bowing, it meant facing the flames when others obeyed the king out of fear, it meant knowing that God could rescue them but being willing to die if he didn’t.  I used their original Hebrew names because for me it is significant that although they were taken to a foreign land and even renamed, they didn’t forget who they were and, more importantly, whose they were.

Our submission to any kind of authority is not tested until it contravenes our desires, our values, our beliefs.  Submission is only submission when you disagree in some way, otherwise it is just agreement, and that is not hard.  God has been using the restrictions of lockdown to talk to me about allegiance.  Every time I have found it hard in some way, it has allowed God to highlight why I have struggled to obey. So, there was the time early in the first lockdown that I wanted to go to the rescue of someone (a habit that has sometimes led me into wrong actions) and God used it to talk to me about what is and isn’t my responsibility and how that can cause me to disobey him.  As a friend of mine says, “the need is not the call”.  Very wise.  False responsibilities can be one of the things that pull us off track in our race.  They can deflect us onto a wrong path or cause us to slow down.

Thenthere was the time I did not want to disappoint my family.  I struggled with the rights and wrongs of differing opinions and emotions and in the end, I compromised.  That word is significant because recently, the same issue of not wanting to disappoint, not wanting to let someone down, led me to compromise again.  I think when we try to have one foot in two camps, to be loyal to those two camps, compromise is inevitably what happens.  How can it not be?  You cannot be wholeheartedly, totally loyal to one person (Jesus) if you are trying to also be loyal to family or friends or anything else which is pulling in a different direction.  Again, this is an issue that pulls us off track.  You cannot run in one direction and simultaneously run in another direction!

It is important to note here that my family and friends did not deliberately put any pressure on me, in each situation.  The pressure was due to my own beliefs, my own thoughts.  Faulty thinking needs to be realigned by a loving heavenly Father.  My thoughts about other people, about God, about myself, and therefore how I act in any given situation are a product of all sorts of inputs over the years and some of those inputs are negative.  Those negative inputs can cause thinking that does not line up with the God’s truth. 

Any time I feel like cannot say ‘no’ in a situation, particularly if it comes into conflict with what I feel God has said or when I sense a lack of peace in it, or when I sense Holy Spirit’s challenge over it, that is a real red flag moment.  Relationships that are characterised by an inability to say “no” without it causing issues of some sort for one or both of the parties involved, need to be adjusted to have more healthy foundations, and possibly more healthy boundaries. In this most recent case, the issues for me were guilt, conflicting emotions, lack of peace, and false responsibility, among others.

I am so grateful for godly friends around me who, having been given permission to speak into my life, are willing to challenge me.  On this occasion, a friend told me Holy Spirit had given her the word “compromise” and she left me to talk it out with God.  God then unpacked all the ways I had compromised because of my unwillingness to stand firm on what he told me to do.  There were many ways I had compromised because any event, like a stone thrown into a pond, is not isolated and it causes ripples that affect different situations and people.

When I contemplate those three men facing the fire, there was an unwavering determination, regardless of the cost.  They had settled in their hearts that whatever the cost, their allegiance belonged to him, their hearts belonged to him, their worship belonged to him.  They whole-heartedly belonged to God.  It reminded me of Jesus in Luke 9:5

When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem.

This verse is sometimes translated using words and phrases like resolutely, steadfastly, determinedly, steeled himself, and so on.  There is a sense of whole-hearted focus, of perseverance that is required to reach the end.  Thank God for the cloud of witnesses, including Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who spur us on; thank God for those he has put alongside us as running mates to keep us going when we are flagging, distracted or diverted; thank God for Holy Spirit who is leading us and guiding us and thank God for Jesus who endured to the end to make it possible for us to get there.

As we fix our eyes on him; as we contemplate his sacrifice and his complete surrender to the Father’s mission, we get the honour, the privilege, the joy of surrendering our all in complete and utter allegiance to our king of kings.  There is no-one and nothing more worthy of our whole heart. Elijah challenged the people of God in 1 Kings 18:21

How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him …

Shine your light Holy Spirit as we respond to the challenge to give our total allegiance to our King.  Help us Lord, as we continue to say “yes” to you, which increasingly enables us to say “no” to other things.