The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
You may be very familiar with this verse from John 10:10. I wonder what comes to mind when you think about abundant life. Some versions translate it as living life to the full, or living life in all its fullness. ‘Abundantly’ means plentiful, not excessive necessarily but ample for our needs. It implies no lack, nothing missing. Coupled with what we know about our God, it certainly relates to generosity. He is the God of generous portions – everyone ate their fill and there was plenty left over in the multiplication of the bread and fish. It speaks of satisfaction and the sense of being replete.
So what does it take for our life to be replete, full, or abundant? I think we tend to focus on what we think of as blessings – practical provision, things suiting us, going our way and feeling good to our flesh, if we are honest. Does it always look like joy, delight, happiness, and life ‘going well’? When we talk about someone being blessed, we often mean in worldly ways – nice house, nice job, plenty in terms of material provision. Would we call blessed those who are in persecution and poverty in countries where Christianity is definitely not encouraged? I wonder how our Heavenly Father sees it.
I have been contemplating what living life to the full looks like, specifically in relation to emotional health. Recent revelation from Holy Spirit has shown me that as a child I experienced some really strong fear-related emotions that I have been oblivious to until now. Also, when I was in New York at the 9/11 site, God revealed to me that I was scared of, and therefore avoided engaging with, grief. The long and short of this is that there are deeply emotional parts of my life that have been avoided, shut down or ignored, or at least only allowed at a very superficial, controlled level. I know I am not alone in this issue. I wonder if fullness of life looks like engaging fully, in appropriate ways, with all of my emotions, including the messy ones, not just the ones that feel good. Certainly my life could not be described as emotionally replete, abundant or full, if some emotions are unacceptable, avoided or rejected.
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour.
In Luke 4:18-19 Jesus explains that his kingdom is about good news, freedom from all that holds us captive, fullness of sight, release from oppression and living in his favour, which looks like living in the welcome and acceptance of our our Heavenly Father, (not necessarily living in proverbial clover). In my less than full life, negative emotions were things to be avoided, controlled and managed in order to function and to be accepted. I learned that negative emotions were too much. That is not freedom, or truth.
Pain has a purpose. It exposes things that need healing and places of vulnerability. Negative emotions are part of life and God made us to be emotional. Indeed he is an emotional God. Jesus expressed a full range of emotions, including what many would consider negative emotions but he expressed them appropriately, not shying away from them or hiding them. He knows about pain and suffering as Isaiah 53:3 tells us
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief …
What if fullness of life looks living in a way that is authentically real? Growing up in a culture where not expressing emotions, being stoically unemotional is seen as a strength, this is a mindset that takes some shifting. But shutting parts of me away as unacceptable is not fullness, and is not freedom. Galatians 5:1 tells us that:
For freedom Christ has set us free
And John 8:32 reminds us that
… and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
Clearly, I experienced many emotions as a child and subsequently, that for a variety of reasons I locked away or refused to engage with honestly. The truth of how I felt, or feel going forward, is not to be denied if I want to walk in freedom rather than keeping my life tightly controlled. If I feel something that seems deeply negative, running from that emotion does not bring me to a place of healing and freedom, it brings me into controlling my emotions in unhealthy ways. Obviously I am not advocating messily splurging every emotion regardless of how it impacts those around me. The key is that Holy Spirit wants to bring wholeness and health into every area of my life, including my emotions. I can only experience healing and freedom if I am vulnerable and honest about reality. I need to invite Holy Spirit INTO that place of fear, or grief, or pain and allow him to heal me, show me where there are any lies I am believing and walk THROUGH the valley with my Good Shepherd. We are told in scripture that God does not reject the ones who acknowledge or feel pain. On the contrary, he has compassion on them. Psalm 147:3 informs us that
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
In fact the preceding verse tells us he gathers the outcasts. We underestimate the compassionate heart of our God. Acknowledging our negative emotions is not weakness but I think we have sometimes misunderstood this next verse.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Romans 8 tells us that the negative things the passage describes cannot separate us from the love of God and verse 37 says that we are conquerors in those negative circumstances. However, being a victorious Christian does not mean that we have to sanitise our lives from everything negative in order to look victorious. It does not mean pretending that we are not in pain when we are. We are not required to witness to a perfect life where there is no discomfort in order to ‘sell’ Christianity as the way to life. We do not have to try and ‘prove’ God by witnessing to a life of pain free perfection, by pretending all is well when it is not. That is absolutely not the picture. Psalm 23:4 reassures us
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
In our pain, our negative circumstances, our fear, grief and sorrow, the truth that sets us free; the truth that brings victory IN it all, that helps us be an overcomer; the truth that liberates us to be the real, authentic, unrestricted version of ourselves that God intended, is the truth that he is WITH us. This changes everything. On our own, in our own strength, these negative emotions can sometimes feel too big, too overwhelming or unmanageable, or even too unacceptable. Maybe we need to allow Holy Spirit to show us where we have unhealthy or unbiblical beliefs around our emotions and how we are to conduct ourselves.
For me this means trying to slow down in difficult or uncomfortable situations long enough to feel, to experience what is going on in my heart, not giving in to fear of the emotions themselves but talking to God about them. This is a process. The unlocking of my emotional health is not an overnight thing, or a one and done prayer, it is a process that has been going on for many years. This is just the next step in the process as God reveals things that I did not know were there. What God is showing me is that there is more freedom available and that some of the things I believed were not true. As our relationship with the Father grows, it means that we are more secure in him and he is able to deal with deeper healing as we trust him with our hearts.
Living life to the full, I believe, is about engaging fully with life and all it brings, not the airbrushed ‘sunshine and flowers’ version but the real nitty gritty. We can be secure and confident because we are not alone and he promises that in him and with him, we will not be overwhelmed, as he promises in Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
As part of the process of deep heart healing that God is taking me, and many others through, maybe we can allow God to heal how we engage with emotions and allow ourselves, incrementally, to feel the full range. Maybe the year ahead can be one where like Jesus, we allow ourselves to be fully human, even as he did. (He is also fully God of course!) Maybe in 2025, we can stop being ashamed of parts of who we are and allow God to heal and release us into the abundance of being fully ourselves. How good would that be!
In fact, what if we started right now, allowing ourselves to engage with the emotions that we actually feel around Christmas, rather than what we think we ‘ought to feel’ and invite God into that place. For many this time of year is complex, and some are finding it hard to drum up the ‘merry and bright’. For some of my friends they are mourning the recent loss of family and friends. For some they are in difficult circumstances that place limitation or restriction on their celebrations. For some there is still a place of past pain that needs healing. This is not me endorsing a rampant ‘Bah, humbug! I hate all things Christmas.’ kind of attitude that douses everyone’s delight with the equivalent of a heavy downpour, but it is maybe a request to give grace to those who are not as enthusiastic as you, whilst acknowledging God wants to join them in places of pain and bring healing, comfort and joy.
Here’s to abundance, to fullness of life for all of us. Be blessed!
free2follow 