Making space to …

For as long as I can remember I have loved going out for walks in the beauty of the amazing creation that surrounds me. Not the kind of walk that ticks off a target, just a meandering, appreciative walk that feeds my soul. I love rivers and lakes, trees and flowers, birds and (some) insects, mountains, and valleys. I have been very blessed to live in some incredibly beautiful areas and one of the things that lockdown did for me was give me time to slow down again and reconnect with the outside world. In my latest move, God has blessed me with a stunning view out of my office window and, minutes from my home, is dramatic scenery. He knows me so well. How blessed am I?!

At college I had to do an art exhibition for one of my classes and I titled it ‘Beauty is truth, truth beauty…’ (a quote from a Keats’ poem) as I tried to express my appreciation of the beauty I saw in nature, in words, in people.  I think that at times in my life, that quest for beauty has been buried by busyness, bitterness and pain, and disappointment but when I take time to go and drink in the beauty of creation, it feeds something in me, in my soul.  Music and moments of creativity can also play a similar role for me.  I wonder what feeds your soul, do you know?

We are body, soul, and spirit.  I feed my spirit when reading scripture, worshipping, and praying, among other things. Obviously, I feed my body, although sometimes with the wrong stuff or in the wrong way. But God has been teaching me over the last year or two, about the importance of taking time to feed my soul too.  In the busyness that is the work ethic I have been shaped by, and in the religiosity that has driven me in the past, where feeding my soul has seemed almost a sin, has seemed selfish and self-indulgent, I have spiritualised depriving my mind and my emotions of any stimulation.  I have neglected this area, thinking it more important to be “super spiritual”, to throw out anything that appears to be “worldly”.  I have led an imbalanced life as a result.  It’s not healthy.  God has been correcting this imbalance.   One of the questions he asked me, which I have now made into a sign for my kitchen, is:

For example, sometimes when I am tired and need to rest, I eat.  Sometimes when I am lonely and need to sit and talk with a close friend (whether that is Holy Spirit the Comforter, or a friend I can phone or visit) I eat, or mindlessly flick through the internet or work to bury the emotions.  Sometimes when I am bored, I scroll through Facebook, shop online for yet another book, or I eat.  Sometimes when I am angry or upset, I eat.  Now you know why the sign is in the kitchen!! 

God has been developing my understanding of what it is I need at a given time.  I don’t always respond correctly – food can still be a go to when I need to be cheered up or I’m bored.  I need to be aware of not just my physical appetite but also my spiritual, emotional, relational, and intellectual hunger too.  There are times my brain needs stimulation; times when I need people connection, times when I need to “switch my brain off”.  Different people meet different needs in me.  There are those who challenge and encourage me, those who are help me to laugh, those who are kind and comforting, and so on.  Sometimes I need the dynamic of one-to-one connection, sometimes the buzz of more people.  The answer to all of this that I would have given 18 months ago is that Jesus is always the answer.  On one level, he is. 

Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. (Psalm 107:8-9)

The reality is, Jesus fills me up like nothing else can.  But I believe that sometimes his love looks like a beautiful sunset “just for me” or the sight of a goldfinch on my walk, or an unusual flower in unexpected places.  I receive them as gifts from him because he knows how to delight my heart.

In the driven spirituality of the past, I have filled some of my hunger with ministry to others in an attempt to make myself feel better.  Not the healthiest of motivations.  I wonder how many of us have done the same.  I think the body of Christ is a lot more effective if we are ministering out of a place of healthy wholeness.  Jesus’ salvation is not just ‘saved to get into heaven’.  It is so much more.  Saved, healed, and delivered in all areas of our life.  As we work out our salvation (Philippians 2:12), it is a body, soul, and spirit thing.  His shalom peace pervades our whole being, which reminds me of 3 John 2:

Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.

I think the word ‘as’ is key in that sentence. There is a connection with life going well, with us being in good health and with our souls being well. It is a well-documented fact that our physical body can be impacted by our emotions, by our thought processes. I have heard testimony of people who have forgiven long-held grudges and been physically healed in that moment. The connection between what we contemplate, and our emotional well-being, is made in Philippians 4:6-7, for example, when Paul reminds us that when we stay in a place of thanksgiving, handing our worries over the God, peace fills us.

Holy Spirit is teaching me to receive at a deeper level. He is reminding me to receive body, soul, and spirit. He is breaking down barriers in my life. His instruction has been:

Pause and breathe me in

So, when exploring the wonders of the Scottish scenery, there have been moments when I could feel it feeding not just my soul, my emotions, as I drank in the beauty, but I could sense the physical impact of it, the release, and the physical wellbeing.  The sense of awe, the wonder of it, the pleasure of it, was shared, not just with my friend but also with the One who created it all. God often speaks to me through the things I see around me, particularly in creation but this is a different level again that he is inviting me into.  There is a deeper sense of connection, a body, soul, and spirit sense of well-being.

It has been a habit of mine to compartmentalise things into spiritual or physical, or emotional activities and in a way that delights me, God is blurring those lines.  I can sense his pleasure as I take pleasure in creation which in the past I would have boxed as not a spiritual activity.  I can sense his enjoyment of my enjoyment of having coffee with a friend as I invite him into the moment. 

Hebraic culture, as I have probably mentioned before, invites God into everything from waking up to going to the toilet.  The Jewish tradition has prayers for all of these everyday activities so that God is not boxed into a devotional time in the morning and evening but permeates all of life.  So, I can pause and breathe him in as I drive to work, as I walk with my granddaughter in the park (toddlers are really good at delighting in life!), as I stand in the queue at the supermarket or as I help a friend.  One of the ways that God reminds me of his presence is by helping me see beauty all around me, to notice little details. 

The beauty of the light on the trees, of the wrinkles on an old man’s face, of a child’s laughter, of an old building with amazing texture on the stonework, the scent of a flower, the lyrics of a sing, the feel of the sun on my face, the taste of plump raspberries, or fresh buttery fish.  So many things.  The more I look, the more I see.  And it leads me to wonder, to gratitude … which naturally leads me to God and to worship, which leads to joy.

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.  (Psalms 90:14)

Romans 1 tells us we have no excuse; he can be seen everywhere.  And so, I am making time to breathe and allowing my soul to be sated with beauty in all its forms.  Let this be a challenge to you too, to take 5 and breathe him in, wherever you are.  Ask him to open your eyes to see the beauty, even if you are not in the middle of the Scottish countryside right now.  It is there to see.

For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. (Romans 1:20)